TIME HAS RUN OUT FOR THIS TRIP AND I AM GOING HOME, back to Rånäs, again. If you didn’t know it I’ve been staying down here in southern Sweden (Varberg/Ullared/Falkenberg with surroundings) at my family’s places since December 2016 and I had planned to go home again in late January but I had an accident and broke my right leg and had an operation and I had to recover for several months so I decided to stay down here where help is at hand and I could relax and stop thinking of how to get food, how to go to places to get things etc. But now it’s time to go home. I’m not well just yet. I have a few months left until I’m am as recovered as I can get. It’s partially a feeling of a certain melancholy, leaving your family and friends, after such a long time. Not to mention that I haven’t been at my flat for over six months now so I hope it still stands. But it is also partially a feeling of longing back to where I last was strong as a person before sudden shit came my way and I couldn’t work down here since I have to be alone and isolated in order to continue my work with my psyche and personality. So that I am longing for because it is something that means mental strength to me and that is well needed in times like this.
I have been let down pretty bad recently by someone I trusted with my life and would have given my life for even if it was needed, so it sucks, really. I hate when trust and friendship is getting pissed at by people who call themselves friends. Whatever. How are you doing? I hope you are having a better day than I do. Although I do not have a bad day at all, it is far from one of my best. I have done some packing the last few days. Have been making some electronic music pieces as well; one with my blood bound friend Joel; he’s a great person and I look up to him for being a hell of a friend and an honest and trustworthy person. Someone you can rely on. I wish I could say that about everybody in my life.
As I write, the weather is rainy and foggy with bright but heavy clouds and thunder as struck a few times. I love this weather. It is my favorite weather of all. I also enjoy blizzards and wintertime at all times as long as there is snow. Weather affects my mind incredibly much. I get heavily affected by it and my inspiration follows blindly mixing the feelings I get with the mode I happen to be in at the moment, then comes the tunes or the words. Inspiration also use to come when I am in the woods, especially there, but in the landscapes, our nature paints for us and we are blessed with the properties necessary to take in those visions. Pretty amazing. I get kind of stunned every time when I come to think of it. Nature is blindingly beautiful but if euphoria exists then dysphoria has to exist as well since we live in a dualistic reality where everything has its antipole; I’m quite sure you are aware of what I’m talking about. It could be described in so may ways so I hope you got mine.
Well, it is time to sum up this post for today or for now, at least. I can’t really come up with something interesting to write about today, it seems. But it will come! I think I will go on and start the translation of the Eucharist-text for you interested out there.